Who would have thought good old George would start off one of my writings.  And yet, somehow he manages to personify the stupefying, and at the same time frustrating feeling of believing people change out of their bad habits.  Convincing yourself that despite having gone through this dance many times before, somehow the song being sung is different this time, and the outcome will change.  And when all is said and done, people have gone right back to their same old bad habits, further cementing another phrase, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

I suppose you are inevitably to blame for your belief in change.  Or Obama’s campaign was actually quite effective.  But hoping that people who have behaved the same way in a given situation time and time again, will change the 10th or 100th time sounds a bit foolish doesn’t it?  Hoping that the laziness, complacency, disregard, or any other annoying habit suddenly disappears.  Maybe the inspirational speech you have given over and over will get through this time, and motivate them to work hard.  Maybe the pleas and cries for help will be heard this time.  But… who’s the more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows?  The fool who raises their hopes, only to be found in the same old situation again, wondering how they got there.  Is there hope?  Can people change out of their bad habits? 

What are emotions?  Are they the true honest feelings we have deep inside?  Are they the words we use to describe these feelings and sensations, or something close to it?  Are the feelings as extravagant as we make them sound, or they actually just raw primal nature that we fancy up with a nice little bow?  At what point does the similie become a metaphor?  (not a mistype) 

There are so many new and exotic ways to express just how much you care, or don’t care for something or someone.  The latest I heard was “I only miss you when i’m breathing”.  But do you?  When we express these strong sensations we feel, they have a root, a core, a beginning, and isn’t the beginning the same for everyone in it’s basic form?  Or is a feeling that we eventually universally express actually as unique as the people explaining it.  Hate, love, the yin and yang of emotion.  These are universal.  Can they really be so intricate and detailed and complicated that we need so many ways of explaining them?  Or are they as simple as Like or Dislike, and we choose different ways of saying them in order to seem genuine? 

Maybe the words are a conditioned response, taught to us from the moment we are put on this world.  Maybe we are taught to feel a certain way in a certain situation, and we expand on this idea every year,every day we spend “experiencing” said feelings.  Maybe at some point, we stop feeling, and start reacting as expected.   “That person hit me, so I should be angry, so I’ll frown”  “That girl kissed me, so I should be happy, so I’ll smile”.  But were you really angry?  Were you really happy?  The first one, a little obvious, the second not so obvious. 

Maybe in the time we have spent “experiencing” these emotions, we’ve actually gotten lost in the words, and not stayed in touch with the actual beginning of the feeling.  The love and hate.  Maybe we have convinced ourselves that the words “I love you” just aren’t the same as “you are my stars, my moon, my sun and my sky”.  We are probably addicts of the pretty presentation on the box, and haven’t actually noticed what’s inside. 

Maybe we’ve all become a little lost in this sea of beautiful,descriptive words that paint an intricate picture, and forgotten what it actually means to truly love… or hate.

So why does the next guy have to be penalized for the emotional baggage of the last relationship?  Is it that hard to realize that each relationship is unique and different from the next one?  And each relationship should teach you something, or at the very least make you emotionally stronger and more mature?  And yet we carry the pain from each previous relationship like a battle scar.  Showing each new person the pain we have been through, and almost holding them accountable. 

Don’t women realize that they are scaring off the “right” guys with their battle scars?  Don’t they realize that they have made the defensive wall so high that no man can scale it, no matter how persistent they are? And in the end, is the excuse that “the guy isn’t trying hard enough” really valid, when they keep moving the goal post?  When they keep making the wall higher?  In the end, aren’t you supposed to learn from each life experience, and grow in order to appreciate the next experience?  In other words, how can you enjoy the next experience life has to offer when you are still dwelling on the last one, missing the lesson completely?

Yet another relationship, yet another situation where, despite being in the “right”, I end up being the bigger better person.  I end up apologizing for my wrong doings, whatever they are.  I end up trying to end things on a mature note, wishing the other person well.  I end up being the person that comes back to the other (some would say crawl), and trying to end things in a civil way.  This situation is not the first time, and definitely not the first time I’ve wondered what’s the point of being the better person?  Who actually keeps score on these things, and comes to you once you have accumulated enough points and says “You have won a great relationship!!!!”?

More often than not I end up being the Omega in the end of relationship, even if I end it.  In other words, even if I feel it’s time to end it, and know it’s the best thing, i still find a way to try and make things better, and let the other person down easy.  Maybe i’m a sucker, as i’m sure some people are probably mumbling under their breaths.  but maybe, just maybe, I care too much about the other person, and ending things in a way that doesn’t make me an asshole.  Even if I haven’t done anything wrong.  

Is this wrong?  Is this something that should be held against me?  Is this something that will haunt me forever?  Maybe, like I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I should become the “bad guy” that so many women go after, and as a result become the guy that doesn’t care how hurt the other person is when things end.  Mabye I should become the guy that is the “lady killer”, and doesn’t care about how much of an asshole I seem when things end? 

What do you think?

Don’t you hate it when you ask someone something, or you make a statement waiting to measure the response, and the comment or question is avoided all together?  You give people option A and option B, and they take the “none of the above” option?  I never understand why people choose to avoid a question rather than just answering.  Is it really that “awkward” to tell someone the truth?  I think people should make a concerted effort to tell the truth, despite the “it might hurt” excuse. 

First of all, people shouldn’t ask a question if they aren’t ready for BOTH answers.  Now having said that, when a question is asked, or a decision is posed to you, it would be better, by far, to actually give an answer than to leave the person guessing.  And I’m sure there are a lot of “it’s the mystery” answers reading this, but if the person gets the courage to ask, give them the decency of an answer.  Because the truth may hurt, but it hurts a lot less in the long run then leaving them guessing.  And of course they could figure it out eventually, but I did say “long run”, because it does take a while to figure it out on your own.  Or maybe it’s just me.

I think we all should make a concerted effort to be more honest with each other.  Matter of fact, we should be completely honest with each other.  Yes of course it will be a drastic change, since we have built our lives on little lies, or comforting lies.  But in the end, knowing the truth about what someone thinks of you, or feels about you, does help you develop as a person.  Wouldn’t it save a lot of time if when you asked someone do they like you, they told you yes or no, and maybe even why?  Wouldn’t a lot less time be spent chasing after the answer, and more time spent on actually finding someone who liked you, or felt about you as much as you felt about them, rather than being in an awkward relationship just because the person can’t tell you they don’t feel as strongly? 

“The Truth Will Set You Free”

You are sensitive to the needs of others and willing to help those in need. You have very high ideals, one of which is making life better for others, even if you have to sacrifice something of your own. You can tell the difference between what is true and what is not, and you are willing to accept reality, although you will work to change it.

You are interested in religious and spiritual ways of thinking. You need to feel that you are in tune with a higher, more universal being than yourself.

With your excellent imagination, you can bring creativity to such areas as art and literature, if you take the trouble to study them. However, by itself this aspect will not signify concrete achievements unless you work to develop your talent.

Someone very close to me gave me this summary of me by getting some of my personal information.  Pretty crazy how accurate it is:

You have a very strong will, although you may express it in subtle ways. If you don’t get your way, you may lose your temper, but when you see that that will get you nowhere, you change your tactics. The greatest problem with this aspect is that you may decide that getting your own way is the most important thing in life and that the only way to get it is by controlling others. Instead of manipulating people, you must learn how to handle others creatively, so that they benefit from whatever happens as much as you do.

 On the plus side, this aspect can signify that you have a great deal of positive drive and ambition. You will want to accomplish a lot in life, and you will enjoy having power over others and using it responsibly.
 You have an enthusiasm for life that others will find inspiring and catching. You like to be with others and have good times, but you do not suppress your real self in order to do so. People will like you for being yourself, so you will attract people all your life.

You will feel fulfilled and complete only when you are involved in creating something.

Your passionately intense approach to life may not be clear while you are young, but it will show up as you get older, especially when you begin having love relationships. For you, such affairs will not be casual, but will be intense and total encounters. Even your friendships will be like that. You need to feel any kind of love totally. People who aren’t so committed will not interest you.
 You are interested in ideas about the universe, in finding out where you have come from, the purpose of life, and why people act as they do.

You like to get below the surface and study a subject deeply. You want to master any skill you learn as completely as possible. However, no one can push you into learning something that you aren’t interested in.
 You will be particularly good at convincing people to come around to your opinion, which is very useful in teaching. Your interest in human nature can also help you in studying psychology and psychiatry.

People should be prepared to encounter in you an extreme individualist. Even while you are very young, you insist on doing everything your own way, and you strongly resist any pressures to conform.

On the other hand you can be very creative with this aspect, because you have much originality and can see life in ways that others are blind to.

Teachers might find you quite difficult to deal with, not only because you insist on breaking rules, but also because you are very restless and hate to sit still for long.
Eventually you should learn when it is worthwhile to rebel and when it is not. However, adults who want to restrain you should not try to do so by force

My mom has this cat,  whose name is Snoop Dogg (I know I know).  This cat is quite unique in my eyes.  Would have to be since i’m writing a blog about him.  This cat’s mission in life is to give love unconditionally.  When you stroke him, he insists on licking you back.  So much so that he will fight you in order to lick you, and basically show his love for you.  He is more than happy to give you love over and over, with only a little stroke or two in return.  He will hold your hand between his four paws, not allowing you to move, just so he can show his love.  It always amazes me how insistent he is about giving more than receiving if receiving anything at all.  

This cat got me thinking, why can’t we be like that?  Why have the givers of the world been disappearing in numbers, slowly becoming extinct?  Why have more and more people become self centered, often ignoring others all together?  I understand that in some community systems it is built into you from a young age to “leave the nest” and make your own way, but does that have to be taken to the extent of watching out for number one and forgetting all other numbers? Wouldn’t the world be so much better if we just cared a little more about the other people in the world?  I’m not saying give everything for others, but there should certainly be a balance.  And if everyone in the world cared about people other than themselves just a little, wouldn’t that little improvement be worth it?  Just a thought for the new year.

Happy New Year everyone, and may the next year be filled with happiness and joy. 

I would like to think I fall into the category of a nice guy.  I definitely don’t consider myself the stereotypical “bad guy” that seems to get most of the attention.  But I am constantly perplexed by the nice guys finishing last in the race of connecting with women.  And more and more I feel the race is fixed.

More and more women tell me that despite knowing the bad guy isn’t good for them, they can’t help but feel drawn to them.  The allure of the forbidden, and the thing you know you shouldn’t do, draws you to want to try it more, even though common sense screams a huge warning.  And in the end, when all is said and done, the woman wonders why in the world they went through it in the first place.  And more often than not it’s a nice guy who finds the woman crying on his shoulder.  Kind of ironic if you ask me.

It always makes me wonder, why do some women seek the trouble, knowing full well it will end up bad.  Maybe it’s the thought of being able to convert the bad guy into a workable partner, and the dream of succeeding where others have failed.  Maybe it’s that age old saying that opposites attract.  Maybe there is a deep down desire within the woman to BE bad.  But all in all, it just seems like banging your head against the wall, and wondering why you end up with a headache. 

Even worse, the same women say time and time again, “why can’t I just meet a nice guy that will treat me right”.  And often, they are complaining to a nice guy about their problems.  But when a nice guy points out the obvious, we get all sorts of funny responses, from “you are too good of a friend” all the way to “I don’t think of you like that”. 

So the question that is raised in the end is, what do you want, the feeling of doing what you shouldn’t but can, or the feeling of being cared for and loved by a genuine person?